Moments that define you

I don’t really think of myself as a go with the flow type of person – too highly strung and definitely need to be in control, second guessing every situation so I’m not surprised. Recently I was watching a trailer at the movies when the voice-over guy said ‘there’s a moment when you know everything will change’ and that got me to thinking if I have any of those moments in my life. Moments I haven’t necessarily had control over. That bring about some kind of change. I think they’re different for everyone.

So I’m trying to think of moments I’ve had when I knew everything would change, or even moments that define me, it’s actually quite hard. I remember lots of things big and small but those that bring change and have a profound effect on who I am and what I do?

• That moment I caught sight of my mother when I was in my early teens, crying to a family friend about how her life had turned out, I think then I realized that parents don’t necessarily have an easy time of it, that they’re human too.
• When I was being fitted for a bra in my 20’s and the sales assistant asked me if I was still feeding. If I didn’t already have self esteem issues, I now have them for life.
• When my cat got run over.
• When I opened the door one March evening and Craig was standing there in a suit, holding an orange rose, I knew he was my one true love.
• When I saw and felt my best friend take her last breath.
• When I learned and experienced that physical sickness can be brought on by stress – in my case a boss who played me.
• When I signed papers at the bank to take out a loan to put money in with 5 others to start Xero.
• When the night ended on my 40th birthday – I was with the one I love in the place I loved. I felt great that day, that things would be different – that I’d grown up and didn’t need to question and prove myself and be everything to everyone any more, that I’d made it. Nothing changed.